i need an iv and a liver transplant
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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