weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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