my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
