So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
