I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
