it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize