Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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