I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
