I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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