cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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