I cockslap morals
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
