i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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