Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
