I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
