I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
