i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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