just come out here and I will go home with you...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
