I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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