does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
