My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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