HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
