I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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