He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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