How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
