I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
