I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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