fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
