Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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