Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
