Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
