Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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