super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
There was a lot of him and a little penis
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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