he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize