you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
