Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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