you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
