even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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