genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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