I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
