I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
