I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize