Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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