We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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