Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
