Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
