so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
