i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
