elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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