These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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