dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
