He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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