He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
