I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
