It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
