Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
