Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
