I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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