2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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