I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
